To Embers We Return — Chapter 15
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Shen Ni detached herself firmly from Diwu Que’s arms. ‘You forget, Mistress Diwu,’ she said. ‘I’m a married woman now, and embraces like these are no longer appropriate.’
Diwu Que was a young woman of flamboyant good looks; her eyes were particularly striking, with their upswept corners. However, she also had all the briskness of a seasoned military general. At Shen Ni’s words, she instantly backed a good few steps away.
‘I really did forget,’ she admitted. ‘It’s so hard to believe that someone as difficult as you could ever get married.’
The two of them had been comrades-in-arms in Yanluo. Diwu Que hadn’t been one of Shen Ni’s subordinates; instead, she was one of Muzhou’s Deputy Military Commissioners. Muzhou lay immediately to the west of the twelve northern provinces, but was not one of them. It had therefore fallen outside Shen Ni’s jurisdiction when she’d been serving as Governor-General of the North. But not only had Diwu Que sent a steady supply of troops flowing from Muzhou to the front lines, she’d even turned up there herself, ready to do battle. She and Shen Ni had fought shoulder to shoulder more times than they could count. Once, they’d even helped each other out from beneath a mountain of corpses and clawed their way back to the land of the living together. They’d had practically no dealings with each other outside the battlefield, but the bonds that had been forged between them in Yanluo were as strong as those between the oldest and most intimate of friends.
Diwu Que found Shen Ni a difficult person to read. She was inscrutable, sometimes contradictory; the currents of her mind ran deep. Shen Ni was committed body and soul to the eradication of the Black Box virus, that much Diwu Que knew, and she was an eloquent speaker when the occasion called for it — though of every twenty sentences she said, only one might came from somewhere near her heart.
Then there was another thing: Diwu Que was very certain that Shen Ni had left her heart behind in Yanluo. During her three years there, as Shen Ni had battled both the Xuanzhou Empire’s armies and the Black Box’s mutant beasts, she’d also been searching for someone in secret. Diwu Que did not know who that might be, and Shen Ni, being as unforthcoming as usual , had never said anything about it.
One night, Shen Ni must have heard a whisper of a rumour of where the person she was looking for might be found. She’d jumped onto her hovercraft and flown at top speed for several thousand miles, and when the vehicle finally gave out, she’d run on her own two feet to the virus-laden charnel pit that was her destination. She’d stayed up all night searching through the mountain of bodies, leaving no corpse unturned.
When the sun finally began to rise, Diwu Que glimpsed the barest trace of a smile in Shen Ni’s bloodshot eyes.
‘Did you find what you were looking for?’ she asked.
‘No,’ said Shen Ni.
‘Then…?’
Shen Ni lifted her head, gazing towards the first light of dawn on the horizon.
‘As long as there’s no body, there’s hope.’
To Diwu Que, Shen Ni’s obsession with that unknown person seemed to border the fanatic. It was almost a sickness, and one that Shen Ni did nothing to hide. Whoever the mystery person was, Diwu Que felt sure that they’d stolen Shen Ni’s heart right out of her chest. Her beloved might lost to her, but still Shen Ni hoped.
Diwu Que had felt rather sorry for Shen Ni when she heard that the emperor had arranged a match for her. Shen Ni would find being married to a stranger difficult to bear, she thought. She hadn’t expected Shen Ni to be so mindful of her status as someone’s wife that she would turn down even a hug from an old comrade.
Before she’d been interrupted by Diwu Que’s arrival, Shen Ni was sure she’d heard the echoes of familiar footsteps. Now she turned to look in the direction of the sound, but saw no one. Any footprints that might have been there had been covered up by the falling snow.
Shen Ni flicked distractedly at the rensheng dangling from her belt, with its little crooked face. ‘Didn’t you come here especially to congratulate me on my marriage, Mistress Diwu?’ she said. ‘How could you have forgotten that so quickly? You did get your head fixed, didn’t you?’
Diwu Que’s head had indeed been smashed in during one of their battles in Yanluo. Now, a plate of reinforced titanium covered the back of her skull.
‘It’s been such a long time since we saw each other,’ said Diwu Que testily, ‘and the first thing out of that obnoxious mouth of yours is an insult?’
Diwu Que and Shen Ni were of a height, and the two of them made a striking pair as they stood at the entrance of the Directorate. Passersby couldn’t resist glancing their way.
Zeng Qingluo emerged from the building then, her arms filled with a thick stack of account books. ‘Diwu jiejie!’ she exclaimed happily when her eyes fell on Diwu Que, whom she hadn’t seen for a long time.
Diwu Que flung her arms around Zeng Qingluo and rubbed her cheek against the younger woman’s. ‘That wicked fox wouldn’t let me hug her, but I know my little Qingluo always will! Mm, you’re still as cuddly as ever, that’s so nice.’
The ‘wicked fox’ was, of course, Shen Ni.
Zeng Qingluo struggled half-heartedly in Diwu Que’s embrace. She was being squeezed so hard that she could barely breathe, and the scent Diwu Que wore was so strong that it nearly rendered her unconscious.
Diwu Que scooped the account books out of Zeng Qingluo’s arms with one hand. ‘Let’s go. I’ll treat you both to dinner!’
‘Not tonight,’ said Shen Ni. ‘I have other plans.’
‘You’re off to keep your wife company?’ asked Diwu Que, curious.
Shen Ni was just about to reply when her watch buzzed. The notification told her that she had a Messenger Pigeon text from Bian Jin.
Shijie must be getting impatient, she thought.That’s probably her asking me if I can go home right now. A hint of a smile bloomed in her eyes. She opened the message.
I have something I need to take care of tonight, it said. I won’t be going to see the Great Wheel of Fire after all.
When Shen Ni looked up from those two brief sentences, her eyes had gone back to their usual coolness. Her finger hovered over the watch for a few moments. Then she replied simply: All right.
Her shijie always took her promises seriously. She wouldn’t have called off their plans without a very good reason.
Diwu Que slung an arm around Zeng Qingluo’s shoulders. ‘If you’re not coming,’ she said to Shen Ni, ‘should Qingluo meimei and I leave for dinner now?’
Shen Ni’s arms drooped, and so did the corners of her mouth and eyes. There was a stifling sensation in her chest. I shouldn’t bother her, she thought. I might as well join them for dinner; it’ll help pass the time.
‘It turns out I don’t have other plans after all,’ she said. I’ll come with you.
Wasn’t she planning to celebrate Shangyuan with dashijie? Zeng Qingluo wondered, but didn’t feel she could ask any questions.
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Bian Jin made her way down the streets of Chang’an, passing one raucous group of revellers after another. Soon, and wIthout quite realising it, she’d left the Directorate in the distance.
The streets were filling rapidly; everyone must be going to see the Great Wheel of Fire being lit up. Bian Jin, however, felt as if there were some invisible force-field cutting her off from the surrounding merriment. An observer, watching her, would have seen a distant, aloof figure, like a solitary snow crystal that had chanced unwittingly upon the mortal realm.
Bian Jin wandered past a stand of bamboo, lush and verdant against the falling snow. The wind rose, rustling through the stems.
Her head was full of Shen Ni as she thought back on the last few weeks they’d spent together, and how surreal it all been. Her reunion with Shen Ni had been wholly unexpected, the abrupt shift in the nature of their relationship even more so. She had never thought to marry at all, much less to become Shen Ni’s wife. Domestic happiness had never been hers to claim. And besides, when the time came, she would have to leave Chang’an.
Weighed down by her thoughts, Bian Jin walked along. Against the snow, her porcelain-fair complexion with its wan, slightly sickly cast seemed to glow even paler. Instinctively, she skirted around passing crowds until she found herself in a blind alley.
It was then that the two men who had been tailing her finally emerged from the shadows, barring her only way out.
‘Well, well, if it isn’t Governor-General Bian,’ said the taller of the two. ‘It’s been such a long time since we last saw each other. Came back to Chang’an to get married, didn’t you? Why didn’t you send your old friends an invitation? You were so caring and considerate to us two all those years ago, remember?’
‘Who are you calling Governor-General Bian?’ sneered the shorter man. ‘She’s nothing but a convicted traitor, a cripple who can’t even sit a horse. Does she think she’s entitled to strut around like that, just because she’s managed to attach herself to one of the emperor’s most favoured ministers?’
Both men were unshaven, and the jackets they wore were old and tattered. They looked like a pair of worn grey rags that the wind had blown into her path — a jarring sight on this lively evening of celebration.
Bian Jin did not wonder at the pure spite in their words. The two men had once served under her command, but had deserted on the eve of a battle. When they’d been captured and brought back, Bian Jin had flogged each of them fifty times in front of all the assembled troops, then expelled them from the army and barred them from re-enlisting ever again.
After Bian Jin had thrown them out of the northern provinces, the two men had fled back to the capital. They’d spent the last few years eking out a paltry living from petty swindles and frauds, laying all the blame for their impoverished circumstances at Bian Jin’s door. On learning that the erstwhile ‘Empire’s Blade’ had been thrown into the Court of Judicature and Revision’s condemned cells, they’d gloated for a good long while. They had not expected Bian Jin to escape what seemed to be her inevitable doom, much less for the emperor to wed her to one of the most favoured ministers at court.
The two men had heard that Bian Jin’s new wife entertained no affection for her, and now it seemed that the rumours were true. Why else would she be wandering the streets by herself on the day of such a major festival?
Bian Jin did not look up, did not spare them a single glance, did not even appear to hear them. She simply strode towards the mouth of the alley, making as if to walk right past them.
The taller man tried to seize hold of her, and she evaded his grasp deftly — but not as deftly as she would usually have. It was a movement she’d made countless times before, but the stress of it was too much for her fragile temporary spine. A sudden stab of pain shot up her back, slowing her motions ever so slightly. She was still able to avoid her attacker’s grip completely, but the snow globe in her hand was less fortunate. His out-thrust palm struck it squarely, and it fell onto some stone steps nearby, where it shattered.
‘Do you still think you’re so much better than us, you worthless cripple?’ The shorter man drew out an iron club. Flashes of white lightning ran up and down its length. ‘My leg’s been lamed for good, thanks to that flogging you gave me. I can’t find any work, let alone a spouse. After so many years, it’s about time I returned the favour with interest.’
Bian Jin stood completely still. There was no trace of fear, not a single ripple of emotion, in her cold, proud eyes. In keeping with her deep aversion to dirt, she did not even glance at the two men.
Ignoring them was the greatest demonstration of her contempt she could have given. Their rage rushing straight to their heads, the two men charged towards her, intending to knock her unconscious before dragging her somewhere hidden to brutalise her at their leisure.
Bian jin closed her eyes briefly. All of Shen Ni’s hard work was going to be ruined tonight.
The men surged forward, trampling the snow underfoot into mud.
Bian Jin uncoiled the whip she’d bought just a few days ago from around her waist and brought it down on her two attackers. With a fearful crack and a vicious flash of white light, it struck them across the face, crushing their eyeballs in their sockets. Suddenly blinded, both men cried out in pain. ‘I can’t see!’
Bian Jin lashed out with one leg, and the two men went flying backwards as if they’d been hit by some massive hovercraft. They left haphazard trails in their wake as they skidded across the snow, their howls echoing through the night.
The taller man’s jaw had been completely shattered by the force of Bian Jin’s blows, revealing a mess of circuitry. As Bian Jin watched, they shorted out, and the man slumped into unconsciousness.
The shorter man’s titanium skull had been knocked almost sideways. His dislocated jaw hung open; it seemed to be on the verge of falling off. He began to struggle to his feet, his joints rippling with the effort — until Bian Jin placed a foot on his chest and crushed him back into the dirty snow, grinding his torso into pieces.
The Empire’s Blade might be broken, but she was still more than capable of dispatching a few vermin.
Beyond the alley, the sounds of gongs and drums grew louder as the flame for the revival of the empire’s golden age was lit. Amid the boisterous cheers that marked the dawn of a new beginning, Bian Jin felt as if a thousand blades were tearing through her body.
She looked quietly down at the shattered remains of the snow globe by the side of the alley. A moment later, she turned her gaze away.
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Author’s Note:
The next chapter is the start of the VIP chapters, and there’ll be 10k-word update tomorrow. We get some angry physical bonding, and the arc where Shen Ni fixes Bian Jin’s body officially begins.
Let me recommend two other completed historical novels of mine, At Her Mercy and The Cultivation of a Prime Minister. You can read them while you’re waiting for this one to update!
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douqi 随笔 