To Embers We Return — Chapter 44

***

‘Shimei? When did you get here?’ Bian Jin made herself sit up slowly, trying to appear unflustered.

Shen Ni was still gazing at Bian Jin like an innocent little blossom, her chin propped up in her hands. Her next question, however, struck squarely at Bian Jin’s weak spot.

‘Why did you lock the door, shijie?’

‘I wanted to make sure I had an uninterrupted nap,’ said Bian Jin. ‘How did you get inside?’

‘I designed the mansion’s surveillance systems myself. My face unlocks every door.’

Before Bian Jin could reply, Shen Ni let out a long sigh.

‘Why are you sighing, shimei?’

‘You locked me out of the bedchamber and your dreams so you could finally sleep well. That must mean I’m worse than a nightmare to you, shijie. How could that not make me sigh?’

Bian Jin heard the sorrow in Shen Ni’s voice. She was just about to offer an explanation when she realised it was all for show: there was a smile in Shen Ni’s eyes, and their corners were upturned slightly.

‘I’m sure you’ve teased me enough now,’ said Bian Jin. ‘How did it go at the Supreme Bureau of Research and Innovation today? Did Li Shan give you any trouble?’

And now she’s changing the subject, just like that? though Shen Ni. Well, if someone still wasn’t willing to accept her as a loving wife, she could at least go on playing the role of the obedient little shimei. Besides, she didn’t feel inclined to embarrass her shijie further. And so, putting aside the banter, she answered Bian Jin’s questions quite seriously, telling her everything that had happened at the bureau.

As she concluded her narration, Shen Ni added, ‘You don’t seem surprised to hear of Prince An’s arrival in Chang’an.’

‘I heard that Li Chu had been exiled to Lanling,’ said Bian Jin. ‘With his power crushed, Cao Su and his followers must now find another contender for the throne to rally behind. If Li Ruoyuan had a child, that’s who they could have championed. But Li Ruoyuan is without issue, and her health worsens by the day. If she were to die, the throne would pass to one of her seven siblings. Li Chu is an unmitigated fool, unequal to any serious responsibility. Now that Cao Su’s faction has seen his true colours, there’s no way they’ll throw their support behind him again. Of the remaining six princes, one is a mere child, while three are old and decrepit — and two of them are said to be even more dissolute and incompetent than Li Chu himself.’

Shen Ni tapped a knuckle thoughtfully against her lower lip. ‘So when one weighs up the possibilities, the only viable candidate left is Prince An herself. But Li Ji is said to have a rather delicate constitution, and a weak personality to match. She’s remained in her fiefdom all these years, keeping herself to herself, and has had very little involvement in matters of state.’

‘Rumours may not always be reliable,’ said Bian Jin.

Shen Ni nodded.

‘Li Ruoyuan’s illness has given Li Ji the perfect excuse to come to the capital, under the guise of concern for her sister’s health,’ Bian Jin went on. ‘If my guess is right, Prince An will soon take advantage of the threat posed by the Black Box to establish herself as a major political player in the capital. She’s a mysterious figure, and very few people know what she’s capable of. Once Cao Su and his followers rally behind her, she’s bound to see you as an opponent. You had best be careful.’

Shen Ni nodded along with every sentence, making Bian Jin smile. ‘You were poking fun at me just a moment ago,’ she teased Shen Ni. ‘And suddenly you’re behaving?’

Newly awakened from slumber, Bian Jin’s voice was soft and warm, and it went straight to Shen Ni’s heart. She loved the fact that Bian Jin was speaking to her so candidly, telling her everything she thought. Bian JIn had considered every detail. She sounded so clever, so self-assured, and she had all the unselfconsciousness of someone who had not realised quite how beautiful she was. In that moment, Shen Ni felt as if she was a child again, with Bian Jin teaching her her letters by candlelight as the night drew in gently around them.

Bian Jin’s next words brought Shen Ni back to earth.

‘I’m afraid the days to come will be very taxing for you, between the work on the city fortifications and whatever power struggle Prince An might force upon you.’

Shen Ni was still crouching by the bed; she was rather reluctant to leave Bian Jin’s side. Leaning her arms on the edge of the mattress, she said, ‘I haven’t stopped work on the city fortifications. I’ve designed a program that helps me keep an eye on the construction’s progress. It might seem as if I’ve done nothing but lounge at home for the last few days, but in fact, the works are moving ahead at a good pace.’

Bian Jin smiled gently. ‘You’ve used all your cleverness on playing truant.’

The look on Bian Jin’s face was so tender that Shen Ni found her gaze drawn longingly to Bian Jin’s hands. Back at Shuangji Hall, whenever Bian Jin praised her in this way, she was sure to follow it by patting Shen Ni on the head. Now, she stared hard at Bian Jin’s hands, willing them into motion. Unable to read her thoughts, however, they remained stubbornly folded in Bian Jin’s lap.

Shen Ni felt rather deflated. ‘Don’t worry, shijie. Whether it’s the city fortifications or the princes of the Li clan, I have my ways of dealing with them.’

‘The princes of the Li clan are sure to band together to oppose you. How will you handle that?’

‘Out of them all, Li Shan commands the most respect. She’s more than a match for the other six.’

Bian Jin heard the implication in Shen Ni’s voice: she was sure that Li Shan would be on her side. What Bian Jin had originally meant to say was: The two of us are married in the eyes of the law, so if there’s anything that troubles you, please tell me, and we can look for a solution together. But as it turned out, her clever shimei had already come up with a strategy all on her own.

Her eyes lingered quietly on Shen Ni’s face for a few moments, and made no judgment.

***

Just as Bian Jin had predicted, in the days that followed, Shen Ni put aside her lackadaisical ways and set to work with a vengeance, shuttling between the directorate, the palace, and her own home.

News of the Black Box’s invasion had started a new trend: many of Chang’an’s residents were having their implants and prosthetics removed. Machinists’ associations and surgeries all across the city found themselves filled to bursting with clients. Since removing all the cyberware from a person’s body was a major — not to mention risky — operation, most machinists could only manage two such surgeries a day at best, and appointments stretched into the next year.

The group chat of the machinists’ association Shen Ni belonged to pinged with thousands upon thousands of messages a day. Requests for hospital transfers, offers to trade for various medicines and cybernetic materials, even pleas for Shen Ni’s help — they all came flooding in. Shen Ni would respond whenever she had a spare moment or.

With Shen Ni’s help, the Supreme Bureau of Research and Innovation was able to upgrade their Black Box surveillance system. This was then linked directly to the software implants of every Lijing official and every soldier in the Jinwu Guards. That way, even if they lost their digital watches, they would still be able to access the system to track down the Black Box.

For their part, the Lijing officials and Jinwu Guards sped up their investigations considerably. Working tirelessly, they’d managed to capture two low-level mutant beasts. They’d extracted the ‘brains’ from each of these and sealed them away in accordance with Shen Ni’s instructions. This had proved an effective tactic in more ways than one: a passerby had taken a video of some Jinwu Guards capturing a mutant beast and posted it on the extranet. Within moments, it had garnered more than a million views.

With the civil service covertly boosting this wave of positivity, the people of Chang’an — indeed, of the whole of the empire — began once again to feel that there was hope of defeating the Black Box. More and more townsfolk were venturing into the previously empty streets. Under the vigilant eyes of the Jinwu Guards, life was flowing back into the city once again.

This time, however, Li Ruoyuan did not thrust Shen Ni — to whom all these successes were owed — into the limelight. Instead, all the credit was given to the Supreme Bureau of Research and Innovation, and to Li Shan in particular. Overnight, Li Shan was lauded as the empire’s saviour; on the extranet, people prostrated themselves figuratively in gratitude. Once again, Prince Yong’s fame and prestige soared to new heights. Not a single mention was made of the true genius who had worked through countless nights to upgrade the surveillance system and strengthen the city fortifications.

Li Shan made a live address to the people of Chang’an from the Information Services Bureau, and received so many gifts and bouquets and messages of gratitude and praise that she was practically drowning in them. But none of these accolades made her happy; she knew full well that they did not belong to her. Still, whenever Li Ruoyuan beamed upon her, the words, ‘Shen Ni deserves all the credit,’ died on her lips.

Shen Ni, of course, was fully aware that Li Shan was receiving all the plaudits due to her. Even Diwu Que had found out, and she stormed into the directorate early one morning to harangue Shen Ni about it.

‘Is there any justice left in this world?’ fumed Diwu Que. ‘You did all the work, you are the one who’s been protecting the city — and now the Supreme Bureau of Research and Innovation gets all the glory? My dear Marquess Jing’an, how can you sit there calmly whittling away at … whatever that thing in your hand is?’

Shen Ni had spent all night beyond the city walls, overseeing the progress of the fortifications; she hadn’t had the chance to return home at all. She’d snatched some sleep earlier that morning at the directorate, but had woken up less than two hours later. Without Bian Jin by her side, she just couldn’t sleep well, and when Diwu Que had come bounding in, she’d abandoned all thought of further rest altogether.

Shen Ni had heard everything Diwu Que had to say, but she did not seem resentful in the least. She had a round object in her hand, and was calmly engraving a design on it with a soldering pen. ‘I’m not “whittling away” at anything,’ she explained to Diwu Que. ‘I’m carving a face. The 3D-printed ones always look a little soulless, so I thought I might as well do it myself. Here, doesn’t it look real?’

She spun the object around. Diwu Que looked down to see a small boy’s head smiling at her. She was so startled by the sight that she fell — rather than sank — into the sofa opposite Shen Ni.

‘Heavens above, it really does look real — almost as if you’d plucked some random child’s head from his shoulders.’

‘As long as it looks real, that will do.’

‘You’ve taken up doll-making now, have you? Don’t tell me you have something even more cursed squirreled away somewhere.’

Diwu Que had barely finished speaking when Shen Ni reached into a nearby cupboard and brought out a headless torso. She fitted the head onto it.

‘Wait,’ she said a moment later. ‘I’ve got it back to front.’

She twisted with both hands, and in a series of clicks that set Diwu Que’s teeth on edge, it slowly rotated a half-circle.

I spoke too soon, thought Diwu Que. She really did have something even more cursed up her sleeve.

‘Is that what you came all the way here to tell me?’ asked Shen Ni as she adjusted the clothing on the ‘boy’s’ torso. ‘You’ve dropped something, by the way,’ she added.

Something had tumbled out of Diwu Que’s pocket when she’d fallen arse-first onto the sofa. She picked it up now and dusted it off lovingly. ‘So what if I did?’ she retorted. ‘Are you going to kick me out just because I haven’t brought you any more information? Because from your tone, that’s what it sounds like to me!’

The thing Diwu Que had dropped, Shen Ni saw, was a bright green plush toy in the shape of some eight-legged worm. ‘What’s that?’ she asked. ‘It looks rather hideous.’

‘What do you mean, hideous? This is a limited edition plush toy, I’ll have you know. I got it as a present, and it’s perfectly adorable.’

‘Oh, someone gave you a present, did they?’ Shen Ni retorted. She could tell from the dreamy look on Diwu Que’s face that it must have come from a lover.

Diwu Que kissed the plush toy tenderly and tucked it back into her sleeve-pocket. Shen Ni made an indelicate retching noise.

‘Are you making that noise at me?’ Diwu Que demanded.

‘Yes,’ said Shen Ni. ‘I couldn’t help it. I was much too envious.’

‘Shen Ni, has anyone told you that your tongue is growing so sharp you might cut yourself?’

Shen Ni smiled as she stroked the rensheng hanging from her belt, with its little crooked face. It was true, now that she thought about it. Whatever gift your beloved gave you, you’d cherish it with your whole heart no matter how ugly it looked.

‘If there’s nothing else, I won’t ask you to stay for lunch,’ she told Diwu Que. ‘I need to take this “child” back to his mother, on my shijie— I mean my wife’s behalf.’

Diwu Que had heard about the Black Box’s attack on the Eastern Market, and she could guess how much the boy’s mother must be grieving. But then again, she and Shen Ni had seen more than their fair share of suffering in the north, and Shen Ni had never seemed particularly anxious to comfort anyone — at least, not in such a personal way. This change probably wasn’t the result of any sort of personality transformation on Shen Ni’s part, Diwu Que decided. After all, she’d already mentioned that she was doing it for her wife.

Diwu Que picked up a tangerine from the bowl of fruit on the table before her and began peeling it. ‘You volunteered to do that?’ she teased, as she popped segments into her mouth. ‘You really are spoiling your wife.’

Shen Ni thought back to the day Bian Jin had sat in that terrible chair at the Supreme Bureau of Research and Innovation and let it read her emotions. She recalled the vast waves of sorrow that the machine had registered, and the way Bian Jin had repressed it all, letting none of it show. The memory of Bian Jin’s face in that moment broke her heart a little.

Shen Ni stroked the ‘child’s’ head. ‘My wife could sit and spend a whole day watching a flower bloom and wither again,’ she said softly. ‘When plants die, she preserves them in crystal or resin, because she can’t bring herself to throw them away. She remembers the names and faces of everyone she’s ever cared for even long after they’ve left. She glimpses a wound on a passing stranger, and can’t stop herself from wanting to sew it up. If she were to bring this child’s “body” back to his home, the sight of his mother’s suffering would bring her a great deal of pain. Unlike her, I’m completely unaffected by things like that. I have a heart of stone, as we all know. So I might as well run this errand for her.’

Diwu Que looked amused. ‘Haven’t you realised? Every time you talk about your darling wife, you go from being the most annoyingly tight-lipped person I’ve ever met to the very soul of eloquence. Aren’t you going to look for your lost love anymore? Have you decided to live happily ever after with your shijie?’

Shen Ni was combing the ‘child’s’ hair into a single pigtail at the top of his head. ‘What lost love?’ she asked, puzzled.

‘Oh, you don’t have to play that game in front of me. Why else did you go north in the first place, and why were you digging through every battlefield we came across like a madwoman? You turned every single mass grave in that region upside down. Don’t you dare tell me I’ve got the wrong idea!’

‘Ah,’ said Shen Ni, but she only smiled and said nothing more.

Diwu Que was about to make another retort when a cool voice came from behind her. ‘If your brain can’t keep up, there’s no point forcing it to.’

Diwu Que looked over her shoulder and saw He Lanzhuo standing just behind her, leaning one arm on the back of her sofa. He Lanzhuo was clad in her usual dark suit. As always, her long black hair was tied back; as always, she had her visor over her eyes. Her tongue was evidently as merciless as ever. But now, Diwu Que caught herself wondering whether the bite mark she’d left on He Lanzhuo collarbone still looked the same as it had last night.

Her thoughts were already wandering when He Lanzhuo went on, ‘Is it not possible that her “lost love” and her current wife are one and the same?’

‘Eh?’ said Diwu Que, stealing a glance at Shen Ni. The look on Shen Ni’s face confirmed her suspicions. Understanding dawned. ‘So it was Bian Jin you went all the way north to find!’ she exclaimed. ‘The timing is right — she did go missing there for three years.’

Shen Ni tossed He Lanzhuo a tangerine. ‘What are the two of you still doing in Chang’an? Isn’t there anything in Muzhou you need to attend to?’

He Lanzhuo caught the tangerine one-handed. ‘We’ve wanted to leave for some time, but the city gates have been sealed off, haven’t they?’ Not wanting to stain her hands, she handed the tangerine to Diwu Que. ‘Peel it for me.’

And Diwu Que, daughter of Muzhou’s preeminent noble clan, who had grown up loved and cosseted in her family’s bosom, began dutifully peeling the tangerine without demur. She even removed every bit of the stringy white pith that clung to the fruit and separated out the individual segments before handing everything back to He Lanzhuo.

Shen Ni could only watch in silence. What am I seeing? she wondered. Why must I be subjected to this? And a few moments later: When will shijie peel tangerines for me?

He Lanzhuo took the tangerine segments and, by way of a reward, pinched Diwu Que’s cheek in passing. Diwu Que’s face flushed crimson, and when she looked at He Lanzhuo, her gaze was so heated that it seemed on the verge of throwing up sparks.

Inwardly, Shen Ni shed tears for her own pitiable, unloved state. You two should get a room, preferably back at Empire House, she thought fervently. Instead of flaunting your romance in the face of a luckless married spinster like myself.

She coughed lightly. ‘Well, since the two of you have to stay in Chang’an for the time being, we would welcome your support in the fight against the Black Box.’

‘I have another Deputy Military Commissioner in Muzhou, who is managing all our administrative affairs,’ said He Lanzhuo. ‘There’s no pressing need for us to return. Besides, it’s not as if we have much choice about staying here.’

Having finished assembling the model of the dead boy, Shen Ni was keen to bring it to his mother as soon as possible. She rose and made her farewells, telling He Lanzhuo and Diwu Que that they were free to stay as long as they liked.

Just before she left the room, Shen Ni suddenly became conscious that He Lanzhuo had been paying much closer attention than usual to her today. She could sense the other woman’s gaze even through her visor.

‘Is something the matter?’ she asked He Lanzhuo.

‘Nothing,’ said He Lanzhuo.

‘Then why can I feel your pity even through that visor?’

He Lanzhuo recalled the details of the dream Bian Jin had asked her to erase. She smiled politely at Shen Ni. ‘In ill fortune rests the seeds of good luck; in good fortune lurks the shadow of ill.^[1] Farewell, Marquess Jing’an. I’m sure we’ll see each other again soon.’

That did absolutely nothing to dispel Shen Ni’s confusion. Are all psychics like this? she wondered. So very mysterious, so very eccentric.

***

Author’s Note:

He Lanzhuo: And there goes the fanservice. What a shame.

Bian Jin: Do you still want the rest of your fee?

He Lanzhuo: Oh, in that case, I don’t mind making it even more of a shame.

Shen NI: ???

***

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Footnotes:

In the original text, 祸兮福之所倚, 福兮祸之所伏. The saying originates from the Dao De Jing (道德经, also transliterated as the Tao Te Ching), the founding Taoist text traditionally credited to the sage Laozi (老子), who is said to have been born during the Spring and Autumn period. It is quoted in ‘Ode to the Owl’ (鵩鸟赋, pinyin: funiao fu) a fu poem by Jia Yi (贾谊), an essayist, politician and poet from the Western Han. ^{[return to text]}